A chance to do it better
by YouOnlyKnowWhatIWantYouTo
Summary: What happens when the love of your life comes back after eleven years away? The reunion of Jax and Tara.


**If there's one scene that I wish could've been filmed its Jax and Tara's reunion when she returned to Charming. After watching the pilot I wondered if the scene in the hospital (where Tara informs Jax of Abel and Wendy's condition) was their long awaited reunion but I think that may have seen each other around before that. But I would have LOVED to have seen that. If I ever meet Kurt, Charlie or Maggie I think I'd ask them what they think a reunion would have looked like between Jax and Tara. That is after I've picked myself up after fainting and fan girling. This is just one way that I thought they might have reunited. This is a (rather long) one shot. Enjoy and please review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with SOA, that all belongs to the genius that is Mr Kurt Sutter.**

….

**_''When you came home it was like some kind of sign for me, like my past coming round giving me another shot, to do this different….better''_**

The old lady watched as the young woman meandered the aisles of her small shop. She noted that this girl, wearing an old navy blue hoodie loosely over her green scrubs, curiously looked at different items but never actually put anything in her basket. She somehow seemed lost, almost like she didn't belong in this place, and yet her pretty face seemed familiar to the elderly woman.

''Can I help you dear?'' the older woman offered as the young brunette came nearer.

Tara looked startled, lost in her own thoughts as she casually wandered the cramped aisles of the shop. She hadn't realised that she was under such close scrutiny from the shop owner. Having walked around the shop at least three times, carrying an empty basket, she realised that she probably looked like a fool. Panicking, Tara grabbed the first thing in reach and held it up for the old woman to see.

''Just this, please'' she replied as she approached the counter with a small bottle of whiskey. Tara couldn't help but smirk at the irony. She'd lost count of the amount of bottles she'd thrown out of her dad's house since moving back to Charming just last week and here she was buying some back. She would toast him after his funeral tomorrow, probably by herself, and drink down his favourite liquor as she remembered him. It was the liquor that sent him to an early grave. How apt.

As she handed the money over to the woman she noticed the shopkeeper's curious stare. ''I'm sorry dear, but I just can't help but think I know you. And yet, I'm very sure you're new to this area?' As she finished the sentence she raised her greying eyebrow at Tara, waiting for her to confirm her suspicions.

Tara looked into the Mrs Matthews kind brown eyes. Of course she wouldn't remember her fully; it had been almost eleven years since Tara had set foot in this town.

Tara smiled shyly and zipped up her purse after stuffing the bottle into her bag. ''Er, not exactly. I used to live here, some years ago now. I went to school just down the street but moved to San Diego about eleven years ago''

Mrs Matthews's curious brown eyes became wider as memories of a teenage Tara flooded back into her head. ''Oh, I remember you!'' She said excitedly and pointed towards Tara 'You used to go around with that boy. Erm…'' Jax's smile flashed through Tara's mind as she realised who Mrs Matthews was referring to. '' …good looking lad….blonde…''

''Jax'' Tara said sadly and moved her eyes down to her purse, the zip of which had suddenly become fascinating to Tara's nervous hands. She was unwilling to let Mrs Matthews see the pain that still burned in her eyes for the 'good looking blonde lad' that she had left behind and yet a smile still tugged at Tara's lips as she pictured his gorgeous face.

''That's the one! I still see him from time to time, walking down that road with his cheeky grin'' a sweet smile spread across the older woman's mouth. She moved closer to Tara and, in a pointless whisper, said ''He's part of that biker club I think, but he's never done me any harm''

Tara raised her eyes back up to meet Mrs Matthews stare and smiled weakly at her. She clearly had no clue about the danger that SAMCRO possessed, she hadn't had a glimpse into that world like Tara had. A tense but polite smile appeared on Tara's face as she stepped away from the counter and nodded her thanks before walking out of the door and into the beautiful spring day.

As she turned to walk back home, eager to relax after her third day of exhausting shifts at the hospital, the hairs on the back of Tara's neck slowly stood to attention, an unusual reaction for such a warm day. A tingle made its way down her spine making her straighten her back quickly to shake it off.

It was then that she knew, without seeing him or hearing him, that Jax Teller was standing behind her.

….

Jax was completely oblivious to the brunette that stood just a few short metres away from him and the guys. He was too worked up from Tig spewing shit over the Mayan's to even take in his surroundings.

He lifted his leg and effortlessly dismounted his bike, shaking his head as he removed his helmet. He hoped the action would shake Tig's constant bitching from his ears but the action just resulted in his golden hair shaking loose and tumbling across his face.

''I'm telling you guy's that this shit with Alvarez has gone too far and it's gone on for too goddamn long'' Tig was raising his voice so that his brothers' could hear him and hopefully join his cause.

Jax stood back and watched Tig make his plea as he fished out his smokes from his denim pocket. There was no love lost between SAMCRO's VP and Sergeant at Arms and the entire Club knew it. Tig thought Jax was impulsive and too hot headed. Jax didn't give a shit about Tig's concerns, knowing that as VP Jax had a bigger influence on the members that he would one day preside over, but he watched as Tig consulted with the brothers around him. Bobby tried to quiet Tig's rant, aware that they weren't the only occupants in the street, and Chibs just laughed and shrugged, knowing full well that Tig couldn't make a retaliation call against the Mayan's without a club vote. Jax glanced over at Opie and they shared a knowing look. This kind of outburst would never be allowed when Jax sat at the head of that table with Opie to his left. They'd both make sure of it.

''Alvarez needs to be brought down a peg or two. I say we-''

''I say that you shut up'' Jax looked across at Tig who abruptly closed his mouth, shocked at Jax's interruption. Jax lit his smoke and inhaled the toxic fumes as he savoured the stunned silence around him.

''We gotta get bloody here brother. We have-'

''_We_ have gotta do nothing until Clay and the Club vote it in. Your goddamn mouth could get us into a lot of trouble, _brother._ So I suggest you shut it. Now'' His tone was harsh, very harsh, and Jax took a step closer towards Tig and squared his shoulders, his eyes challenging the Sergeant at Arms to take one more step out of line. Just one more little step before Jax would gladly knock him down a peg or two.

Tig stared back into the icy depths of Jax's glare and considered the challenge for a moment. He licked his lips and sneered and Jax smirked back with a part of him hoping that Tig would snap. Fire flowed through Jax's veins today and Tig would be a welcome substitute for a punchbag.

Bobby, ever the voice of reason, stepped between the two men ''Not here guys. Too many eyes'' Still holding Jax's stare Tig shrugged and stepped back. Jax snorted, a knowing smile gracing his lips. He looked over at Opie, wanting to bask in this small victory with his future VP but found that his friend was looking further down the street with a concerned look etched on his face.

Jax followed Opie's gaze and his own rested on the back of young woman, whose chocolate hair tumbled down her shoulders. It seemed like she was stuck to the spot, her body was unmoving as if she were under a spell of some kind. Jax berated himself that he hadn't acknowledged her sooner, always eager to check the female talent around him, but he took the time to skim her body, which was shrouded in an ill-fitting blue hoodie and green combats.

He glanced back at Opie to catch his best friend take his gaze from the back of the woman's head and look down at the ground, his eyes knitting together as if to place her. It was then that it dawned on Jax. It was obvious that this was someone that Opie knew but what bothered him was the sense that he too knew her. In fact he couldn't shake the feeling that he knew her very well indeed. To confirm his suspicions he looked back at the young woman, who still stood firmly on the spot outside Mrs Matthews shop on the side walk. She hadn't turned towards him so that he could see her face but she didn't need to, he knew that body. He admired her again, feeling his heart start to pound faster within his chest. He _definitely _knew that body. He breathed deeply, his lungs desperate for air and his legs felt as if they couldn't take his weight. He studied her once more.

**Her hair was a deep dark brown but he noticed how an auburn glow was now apparent in sun's rays. **

_School had rung out just moments before and he handed her his helmet, eager to get her away from here and to a place where only he could admire her. He loved how she shook her hair loose from her ponytail as she placed his helmet on her head. Such a simple gesture had him craving to put his hands through those locks and smother her in kisses. He didn't care that it had been less than an hour since he had seen her in the school corridor, where he had pressed her against the lockers and let his mouth and hands claim her lips and body. They had let most of Charming High be witness to their soul consuming love, a routine that had become a daily occurrence. Did they care? Not a chance in hell. _

_As she mounted his bike she ran her fingers through the ends of her hair, and the copper strands toppled down her shoulders. He grinned as his baby blues darted to her mouth and watched her wet her lips for his impending kiss._

**The faded blue hoodie that she wore was too big for her slender frame but it was large for a reason. It had once belonged to him. **

_He reached out to hold her shivering body 'Are you cold, babe?' His question had been unnecessary as he noticed the goose bumps that now covered her slender arms. She nodded and he looked at her perplexed. It was a gorgeous September evening but nevertheless she felt cold. She always felt cold. That was why she would sometimes wake him in the night to ask him to hold her, for his body to encompass hers, for his touch to warm her trembling skin. He never refused, in fact he found peace as he held her close and they could both sleep knowing she was safe in his arms. _

_As they rounded the corner to her street he unzipped his hoodie and placed it around her shoulders. She smiled up at him, for a guy that many branded a thug he had his chivalrous moments, even if she was the only one who could account for them. They talked about their day and stole a few precious moments away from thoughts about gun runs or drunken parents. His arm leisurely rested on her shoulders as he brought her closer to him, not only to keep her warm but to whisper his love. _

_They reached her house and they both sighed as they saw the Cutlass in the drive. ''He's back'' she whispered, disappointment clouding her features. Jax pulled her closer ''You want me to come in with you?'' _

_She shook her head. She knew that he couldn't stay tonight as he had to do yet another errand for the club. Bringing him any closer to her bedroom would just make it harder for her to let him go. ''No, he's probably passed out drunk anyway''_

_Jax nodded and brought her in for a bruising kiss. His hands delved under the hoodie, taking handfuls of her body and savouring the feel of her as he deepened the kiss._

_After a few minutes of losing themselves they both realised that they had to say their goodbyes before it would be impossible for him to break away. ''I gotta go babe'' his whisper was drenched in disappointment. _

_''I know'' she whispered back ''I'll see you tomorrow. Stay safe'' _

_''Always'' he grinned, brought her head closer to his for one last lingering kiss, and stepped away from her, continuing his journey home._

_''Wait, Jax!'' She ran the few steps to catch up with him and started to take his blue hoodie from around her shoulders. ''Here, you'll need this back''_

_He put his hand out to stop her. ''Keep it. It can be something to remember me by'' He winked at her and walked away. _

_Every night, when he had to do a job that kept his body from keeping her warm in her bed, she wore his hoodie so that part of him was close. _

_Even in Chicago._

**His eyes continued down to the bottom of her spine. If he lifted that hoodie up would he still see his crow there? His eyes burned as he stared at the base of her back, remembering how good his mark had looked on her body.**

_She lifted up her t-shirt and stretched her head around to gaze over her shoulder into the mirror. It was without doubt the most rebellious thing she had ever done but from the moment he had asked her to get his crow something felt completely logical. It felt right. They both knew that his asking meant that he wanted her. Forever. They also knew that if she accepted that she would have to stand by his side through thick and thin. He eagerly asked and she happily accepted._

_''Here, let me take the bandage off'' Jax offered._

_''No, Jax. You have to keep it on for at least a day''_

_''Babe, I have to see it again'' he looked like he was about to combust and Tara thought it was the cutest thing that she had seen. Not wanting to disappoint him she shrugged and allowed him to carefully remove the dressing that covered the base of her spine. Once the bandage was discarded they both peered in the mirror, Jax's face was filled with awe. He'd never seen something as beautiful. Tara squinted to take a closer look and, although inflamed and sore, she could clearly see the mark that showed the world that she was his. Her grin broadened when she read the word 'FOREVER' which was emblazoned on the banner that hung from the crow's claw._

_She looked up at Jax. His eyes came down to meet hers and a gorgeous smile spread across his lips ''So I guess you're stuck with me now, eh Knowles?'_

_Her eyes were fixated on his mouth and, feeling a sudden surge of heat between her legs along with a primal need to have him inside her, she rushed to meet his lips. As their tongues did battle and clothes were ripped and cast-off, it was only when he brought her to the brink of her first climax that she answered his earlier question;_

_''Gladly'' She moaned into his ear._

**Jax's gaze took in her long legs. He chastised himself for his earlier mistake. They weren't combats. They were scrubs.**

_Her words hadn't quite sunk in, maybe because his mind refused to process them. She'd tried to explain the acceptance from San Diego, how she had meant to tell him but never thought she'd have a chance of getting in. Jax's voice was raw as he repeatedly told her how her future wasn't in San Diego but here in Charming as his Old Lady, by his side as they had always planned. And anyway, why couldn't she become a doctor somewhere closer to home?_

_Tara's words were strained as she had tried desperately to tell him that she was going to San Diego to get away from this place, a town that she was drowning in. There was nowhere close to home that offered a course like the one at San Diego. Her voice couldn't express how much she loved him, and she truly did, but she knew there was more to life than being an Old Lady._

_They went around in circles for hours. He was too pig-headed to see that she needed more than what she had in Charming and she was adamant that Charming had turned her into someone that she didn't recognise anymore, let alone like. She was not going to turn into Gemma. _

_He paced her bedroom trying to walk off the nervous energy that consumed his body. Why would she want to leave? She sat on the bed, her eyes following him, watching the confusion and heartbreak contort his face. Tears threatened to spill from her stinging eyes. Had he really not seen this coming? _

_'Why?' he quietly demanded. _

_Tears streamed down her face and he instinctively moved closer to her trembling body, his strong arms engulfed her in a bid to share her pain. ''You could come with me. We could start a life together'' Her voice sounded hopeful, silently urging him to accept the offer._

_He closed his eyes, his whole body hurt. They both knew the answer to her question. He couldn't go to San Diego. His life was Charming, his destiny was SAMCRO and he would fulfil his father's dreams at the head of that table._

_He held her tighter for a few moments more before pulling his head back to look at her tear drenched face and he tried desperately to wipe away her constant tears._

_''I can't go to San Diego, you know that'' Her face scrunched up in agony, and on hearing his rejection her chest became tight, not wanting to take in oxygen. Without him what was the point of breathing? _

_Jax didn't have it in him to shout at her anymore, they'd spent the best part of the day trading blows about their future. He cupped her face in his hands and rested his head against hers. He took a few moments to steady himself, urging his own tears not to fall. It would almost kill him to say what he was about to but for her happiness he knew he had to._

_''I want you to achieve all those things you that you talked about. If that is what is takes to make you happy, then do it. Go to San Diego and be the best doctor that you can be. And when you're ready you'll come back. You see Tara, your life is here with me, you just don't realise it yet''_

_And with one last crushing kiss he walked out on her, to go and wait for her to return to him._

_…..._

And she had returned to him. Unless this woman in front of him was a figment of his imagination, a vision from the countless dreams he'd had of her homecoming.

Jax took a cautious step closer towards her, willing her to turn around so that he could see her face.

'Tara?'

Bobby and Chibs exchanged startled glances, their eyes widening at the realisation that their VP's Old Lady was back on the scene. Tig looked at his brother in confusion, not being able to place the name ''Tara?'' he asked Chibs, who reminded Tig of the sweet but wild girl that Jax had been obsessed with. The recognition hit Tig ''Oh, shit''

Tara closed her eyes as Jax said her name, her body trembled with joy that he would remember her after all these years. She had waited over a decade to see him and yet she felt glued to the spot, unable to move as he walked closer to her.

It was only when she felt his hand touch her left shoulder that she spun around to look at him and as she did she was unable to hold back a sob of joy. His eyes scanned her whole face, drinking her in and as he did a dazzling smile sprung to his face. She was back.

He kept a safe distance, somehow feeling as if he would scare her if he got any closer to her. His arms ached to reach out to and hold her but they stayed at his sides, suddenly feeling as if he didn't have the strength to lift them anymore. Shock consumed him and he admired her with a dumb struck stare.

''You're back?'' he whispered.

She nodded gently, smiling as she did. ''Yeah, I am''

They had both dreamt of this moment and yet both berated themselves. Hadn't they individually practised this reunion in their heads thousands of times? Wasn't it supposed to be a clichéd romantic moment like in the movies? And yet here they were, too stunned to do anything but state the obvious fact that she had returned. They stood staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity, so much so that Tig took the opportunity to interrupt. Anything to shit on Jax's parade.

''Jax, we gotta go brother''

Jax didn't even bother to turn around to answer. He didn't think he could tear himself away from her eyes. God, he had missed those eyes ''Not now, Tig''

There was something about Jax that Tara had forgotten which surprised her as she had tried to remember everything about him during his absence. She had forgotten how self-conscious he made her. He never knowingly did it but when she looked at him, saw his beauty, she suddenly felt inferior, just as she had when he had first approached her all those years ago. She could feel her blood pumping through her body, the tell-tale butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

God, she was stunning. She had been beautiful when had left years before but he had forgotten how attractive she was. He wanted to speak but didn't think he physically could, he was breathless.

Tig cleared his throat, loudly. 'Jax, We gotta meet with Alvarez man. We have to – ''

''I said not now, bro!'' This time Jax screamed at Tig, snapping his head back to deliver a deadly glare at the Sergeant at Arms. He should've knocked him out minutes ago.

Bobby pulled Tig back, who was still at the receiving end of Jax's thunderous scowl ''Just give them a minute, man''

Opie smirked to himself as he leaned against his Dyna. Folding his arms he looked across at Jax and Tara, still engrossed in their silent admiration for each other. He had forgotten that Jax could be like this, the tough guy who barked orders at his brothers, put bullets through men's heads and yet could revert to being a starry eyed wuss when it came to women. To be fair, he had forgotten this side of Jax existed because he had only ever been this way with one woman, the one who stood in front of him now. Tara momentarily tore her eyes from Jax's for them to connect with Opie's. On seeing her old friend she smiled and he grinned back at her and nodded his head before she returned to Jax's face.

''I think maybe you're needed'' she said reluctantly.

Jax gritted his teeth. He loved his Club, he would willingly put himself in front of a bullet to protect it or one of his brothers, but there were times when it could be a royal pain in the ass. This was one of those times. He tried to ignore the memory that the Club was one of the reasons she had left him in the first place.

''Yeah'' he nodded but didn't move away from her. ''I'm sorry to hear about your dad''

Tara smiled politely. She wasn't sure if his apology was sincere, Jax and her dad had never seen eye to eye and she's sure that in her absence Jax wouldn't have put himself out to make a house call to him. But she couldn't blame him, Jax had been fiercely protective of Tara and for Eddie Knowles the boundary between loving father and abusive drunk had been blurred.

''Thanks, that's one of the reasons I'm back. His funeral is tomorrow and I needed to sort the house out, do all the legal shit''

''_One_ of the reasons?'' Jax looked at her inquisitively. Was she not going back after the funeral?

Tara shifted her weight from one leg to another and straightened her back. ''I actually got a job at St Thomas. I started a few days ago''

Jax raised his eyebrows in surprise, a cheeky smile graced his lips ''So you're back for good?''

A nervous giggle escaped Tara ''Yeah, I guess I am'' and she looked up at him, a feeling of hope surging through both of them.

''Jackie boy, we've really got to go brother'' Chibs intervened.

A broad grin spread across Jax's face. He'd happily go now that she knew Tara was staying put, that he could see her whenever he wanted. ''Maybe I'll see you around Doc''

Tara beamed up at him ''I'm counting on it outlaw''

And with that they both laughed, easy once again in each other's company, and their wanting arms reached out, pressing their bodies against each other in a crushing hug. They savoured the feel of the contact, a contact that had been desperately needed for eleven years. They inhaled the familiar scents of one another and both smiled into each other's necks. They were home.

''I missed you'' he whispered, his voice needy from the feel of her body pressed to hers.

''I missed you too'' she sighed, longing for their contact to continue.

He grinned and reluctantly pulled back, feeling the disgruntled stares of the men behind him.

''See you later'' and with a wink he turned his back on her, joining his brothers and returning to business. As Jax approached Opie slapped him on the back.

''You ok bro?''

Jax smiled, ''I am now man. I am now''

This was his chance to do this right. To do it better.


End file.
